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Christ-centred parenting is as tricky as it is rare nowadays. Much of parenting is always based on the ability, knowledge and expertise of parents and hardly on the grace of God made available through Christ and His power to provide, empower and inspire both parents and children alike.
It’s common for parents to feel proud of the success and achievement of their children, and they should. But how often do we hear parents taking ownership of their children’s success acting as if it’s all up to them? If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a parent is that all wonderful things about my daughter are not a product of who I am as a parent, but of the grace of God in our lives.
A lot of times, I hear parents talking about the success of their children—how well behaved they are, how smart they are, how good at ballet they are or how fast they can learn their ABCs. And more often than I’d like to hear, I always catch a tone that implies, “my children are like this because I’m such a good parent.”
Many times as parents, we think that the success and growth of our children all depend on how good we are. And while it’s true that parents should raise and take care of their children with best efforts at hand, our best efforts will still fail if God’s grace is not present.
Psalm 127:3 tells us, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
The thing about heritage is that it is not earned, and we do not work for it. It is inherited and freely given. You don’t inherit something from your parents because you earned it. No matter how good or bad you were as a child, you will still inherit the estate of your family (legal intervention aside).
It’s the same with us and our children. The growth and success of our children, though we work hard to facilitate it with God’s assistance, is not our glory. It is first and foremost God’s glory and grace.
My daughter, Alexa Margaret, is smart, talented, behaved and loving not because I’m a good father. In fact, I may have messed things up more than fixed them. I read all the parenting books. I discipline my child as needed. I provide for all her needs and pay for her education. But without God’s grace through Christ, all of these efforts mean nothing.
If you’re a parent, be proud of your children and praise them. But don’t forget to praise God as well for their growth and development. Never praise yourself lest you let pride enter your heart. Instead, give glory to God for His grace and for giving you such a wonderful heritage in your children. Rely on God’s grace to make you a better parent than you are today.
