Pexels / Josh Willink
How does one talk to kids today about the dangers of porn? Pastor Craig Gross from XXX Church, an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions, believes that true connection is the key.
"I think the best thing that has worked in youth ministry for me and now with my own kids is the more you talk about things, the better. If you have leaders around that understand the temptations today and what kids are going through, even better," he shared on the ministry's website.
Gross also believes that parents, youth pastors, and other evangelical leaders need to start discussing about the dangers of porn with kids before they are in junior high and high school. Most parents today grew up not being able to talk about sex and other issues with their own parents, but Gross said they should make an effort to change the cycle.
"My fellow parents know not talking is not the answer. But it is all we know, so we just avoid it like our parents did. The problem with that is our kids are living in a way more advanced sexually driven culture. This requires us to do something different and have these talks," he stressed.
So before anyone else could talk to his kids about sex, Gross said he stepped in and had the talk with them. Gross and his wife decided that such a talk could begin with seven-year-old kids. Because of this, the XXX Church pastor said his kids became more open with him.
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"I strongly believe if parents are on board from the beginning, it makes your job way easier," he said. Parents don't want to deal with things until there is a problem, so most likely your youth leaders are going to know what's going on with these kids way before their parents. This means you may not get understanding and support from all parents."
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One thing Gross noticed about kids these days is that they're followers. While at the Foot Locker store, Gross and his son saw a middle school girl trying on some Adidas Superstar high tops. The sales lady told the girl, "These just came out; these high tops will be the next thing." But instead of feeling pleased about it, the girl looked upset since no one at her school has high tops. She ended up getting the low tops.
"That incident at Adidas…remind me how much of followers kids are. That's one thing I loved about youth ministry to middle and high school kids. How easy it was for kids to be swayed and influenced by myself and other upstanding leaders," he said. "Your leaders have more influence on these kids than they know."
When youth leaders show these kids that they hold the same beliefs as their parents, then their parents automatically become cool in their eyes. And the more youth pastors speak about life and talk about "real stuff" with them, then all the better.
"Sometimes we blame porn, when we see that porn wasn't the problem, it was the escape. So, combining personal stories as to why staying away from sexual things is a good idea and asking the question of why will be very beneficial," he said.
