Church & Ministries

5 Tips for the Introverted Pastor

It can be hard to be an introverted pastor. Our culture values the strengths of an extroverted personality more than those of an introvert. There is also the reality that we have a people heavy job, and an inclination to enjoy alone time.

Neither of these obstacles, however, makes the introverted pastor less fit for ministry. Introverts have strengths that extroverts may lack, perhaps being able to happily hide out among our books all day to prepare a sermon. Besides our strengths, the weaknesses we bring to the table are not impossible to overcome.

So in order to improve as introverted pastors, what are some strengths to capitalize on? And how do we work around our weaknesses?

1. Work toward becoming an “outgoing introvert”

The term “introvert” describes someone who energizes with alone time. This means, on the other side of the coin, engaging with people taxes their energy. This does not necessarily mean, however, that introverts don’t like being around others. In the same way that someone can become physically exhausted playing a sport they love, introverts can joyfully exhaust themselves around people they love. There are such people as “outgoing introverts.”

The effective introverted pastor loves his congregation so much that he switches on his “outgoing” mode. Talk, joke, laugh, and pray with your people. That may mean later in the evening you need to recuperate with a book on the couch or cuddling with your wife in front of a movie. But at the end of the day, it feels good to know you left it all your relational energy on the field.

2. Use your listening skills to connect with people

Introverts are more natural listeners than extroverts. I know this because sometimes I have to practically interrupt some of my extroverted friends just to get a word in!

You have listening skills, introverted pastor. Use them to be the best pastor you can be. We need to hear people out as much as we speak God’s word into their lives. Whether it is in a counseling session with a couple on the brink of divorce, or with someone sharing a prayer request after a church service, the wise introverted pastor puts his strength of listening to work.

3. Pour into your staff and lay leaders

A typical characteristic of an introvert is to measure friendships in terms quality, not quantity. So if you want your relationships at church to result in more meaningful pastoral ministry, pursue your colleagues, elders, and deacons. This way your influence will be multiplied throughout your church as the leaders you engage with engage with others.

Jesus is an example of this. In the gospels, he interacts most with just three people: his disciples Peter, James, and John (sometimes Andrew makes four). Besides these few, there are only a handful of other people the gospels describe Jesus in relationship with? Yet Jesus sent 72 to prepare his mission field (Luke 10:1), he met with over 500 brothers at one time between his resurrection and ascension (1 Cor. 15:6), and there were about 120 people who were present for Matthias’ replacement of Judas (Acts 1:15). For all the people in his ministry, it seems Jesus focused his deep relational time with his few closest partners in ministry.

Now, don’t hear me trying to pin Jesus down as an introvert. I’m just saying that we see in Jesus a model of ministry that focuses a lot of relational emphasis on a few leaders. A similar model will help the introverted pastor be effective in ministry.

4. Capitalize on your church calendar

I know for me, as an introvert, scheduling appointments with a lot of people from the church does not come naturally. One of the ways I compensate for that weakness is by bringing my relational “A game” whenever our church is all gathered together.

How many people can you smile and say “Hi!” to on a Sunday morning? How many people can you catch up with at a mid-week dinner or Bible study? How many new names can you learn at a newcomers’ lunch or new members class? These are all easy wins relationally speaking, and the pastor who is aware of his introversion will do well to capitalize on such opportunities.

5. Find an extroverted wingman

If you have the luxury of a staff of pastors at your church, do you have a beaming extrovert? If not, you may consider hiring one the next time you are filling a position. He may intimidate you – he may even be more likable to your congregation than you – but he will also balance you, and your church will be better served.

If you are a solo pastor, is there a church leader who can function as your extroverted wingman? Could an elder, deacon, or someone else come alongside you?

You can’t completely outsource your relational ministry. That would be abdication, not delegation. But you can be strategic about catalyzing your extroverts to help you disciple, shepherd, and relate to the people of your church.

Don’t Neglect Your Strengths as an Introvert

The worst thing would be for you to try to become an extrovert. God made you the way he wanted to, and he will use your personality to serve the people he has entrusted to you. The gospel is all about God using apparent weaknesses to accomplish his mighty purpose. He compensates for our shortcomings by his all-sufficient grace (2 Cor. 12:9). So put your strengths to work, use your wisdom to overcome your weaknesses where you can, and trust God’s grace to be at work in you and your people.

About The Author

Eric McKiddie serves as Pastor for Gospel Community at the Chapel Hill Bible Church He helps pastors grow as well-rounded ministers of the gospel at his blog, Pastoralized, and through sermon coaching. Follow him on Twitter: @ericmckiddie.

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