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Jennifer Aniston’s column in the Huffington Post has received a lot of attention from fans, media outlets and women and men around the world.
On the blog post entitled “For the record”, the Friends actress responds to the ongoing speculation about her body – whether or not she’s pregnant.
For years Aniston’s lack of children and relationship status have been popular topics on the covers of tabloid magazines and newspapers. And now she’s quite simply fed up with it.
Voicing her frustration on the column, she wrote: “The sheer amount of resources being spent right now by press trying to simply uncover whether or not I am pregnant (for the bajillionth time… but who’s counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children.”
It’s not just the mainstream media that is pushing this idea that marriage and motherhood are a woman’s crowning glory and the two things that any “normal” woman will want and obtain. Only last week a debate around the competency of childless women hit the headlines as a result of comments made about the UK’s new female prime minister. But entertainment and politics aside, this idea that matrimony and maternity are often held up as the model within our Christian communities.
However, it’s entirely possible to live a full, meaningful and worthwhile life even if you’re single, childless, or both. It might seem an obvious thing to point out, but so much of what we hear, read and watch says otherwise.
Here’s a quick look at why getting married and having babies doesn’t make you whole.
Marriages don’t last forever and even if they do …
Imagine waiting on something to complete you, getting it and then losing it. Surely you’re back at square one now, right? Incomplete again.
Although we should be optimistic about the longevity of marriages, the reality is that a significant proportion of them will end in divorce. If we assign our identity to something which is temporary, then we’ll be faced with returning to a state of perceived incompletion if it ever comes to an end. And while spouses can add endless joy to our lives, support us, educate us and so much more, they do not make us a whole person. No other person has the power to complete us, and we shouldn’t attempt to give it to them.
Children are blessings, but they’re not a component for completion
You’ll get more than empty nest syndrome when your children leave the family home if you believe they make you whole. The majority of parent-child relationships will go through a period of long-term separation. In a lot of cases, the separation will be lifelong.
It’s unfair to burden others with the notion that they are the ones who complete you. It’s also unnecessary.
It’s through Christ alone that our lives are brought to fullness (Colossians 2:10, John 10:10) and it’s through God alone that we are made complete (Philippians 1:6).
The intention of this piece isn’t to rubbish marriage and children – both are truly incredible gifts. But we’re not starved of blessings if we don’t end up with one or either. It’s fine to want them, but if we look to other people or certain labels to complete us, then we’re distracting ourselves from the One who can fill all voids – Jesus.
