All of this would be of little encouragement if our good and gracious God were not also sovereign. He can and does turn our mistakes as parents into blessings for our children. Each night I can lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes knowing that God is working all things together for his glory and my good. I can be sure that he delights to save and sanctify people. Nothing and no one can thwart him. Whatever pressure point I am facing this particular day it must, after all, salute the absolute sovereignty of my glorious King. Resting in God’s sovereignty is a tremendous comfort to a sighing parent.
If you are a parent then you have likely been in the midst of a moment of profound weakness. With a prolonged sigh and a personal massage of your on forehead, you say, “I’m overwhelmed.”
I can relate. With six kids ranging from 5 through the early 20s, I’ve had several sighs as I come face to face with my own personal weakness.
But what do we do after the sigh? What’s next after we push away from the table and get up and get to work? How can we parent without regret?
Try Your Best to Do the Right Thing
I remember sitting at Wrigley Field in Chicago for an early April baseball game several years ago. I was around 30 and had the opportunity to visit with a dear brother who was a few laps ahead of me in being a dad. I love this guy because even though his kids were grown and according to him “not perfect” he seemed to have unshakable confidence in God. I asked him straight out how to not live with regret as a parent. With his customary pause before speaking my friend said, “Do your very best to do the right thing—based upon everything you know at the time.”
He went on to explain how at the time you don’t know the challenges your 10-year-old will face when he is 21. It’s unhealthy for you to paralyze yourself with fear. Instead, evaluate the situation, seek godly counsel, pray, and do what seems best. He said it with the casual sagacity of a middle-aged man in a Cubs hat eating peanuts. I realize that mistakes (on both the parent and the kids’ part) are inevitable. However, regret doesn’t have to be. Love your kids, do your best, and learn from your mistakes.
Pray Like You Can’t Save Your Kids
It is the priority-setting burden that our kids come to know and follow Jesus. Like John we Christian parents would have no greater joy than to have our children walking in the truth (3 John 4). But how does this happen? Is there some secret recipe or formula? Of course not. There is no silver bullet for us to fire. The kids simply will not be saved apart from a sovereign work of regenerating grace. Do you believe this?
Then what do we do? We pray. And we don’t just pray, we pray like we are desperate. We pray like their souls are the most pressing priority on our minds. We plead their case to God and relentlessly ask him to arrest them with saving grace. Parents, be relentless on your knees for your children. Carry them to the throne of grace daily as you petition the sovereign and good God of the gospel for mercy. Pray like you can’t save them.
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