Life & Society

Pastor’s wife shares her struggles with loneliness: ‘I have to fight thoughts of divorce every single day’


Not even pastors are safe from unhappy marriages. A lonely pastor's wife has shared her thoughts with Dr. Thom Rainer, president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention, telling him that despite all of the marriage seminars they've attended, she still feels neglected.

"He never schedules time for investing in our marriage and works all week in the office and then up all night on Saturdays getting his sermon ready," she shares. "He leaves early Sunday mornings for preparations for the service and, by the time he gets home in the afternoon, he's exhausted and definitely doesn't feel like doing anything active or fun with the kids and me. He just wants to veg out on the couch."

Whenever she tries to tell her husband how she feels, he accuses her of "complaining" and not "following the call for my life." The pastor's wife feels so neglected, lonely, and rejected that she fights thoughts of divorce every single day.

She also hates going to church because the church has become her husband's "mistress," and she has also given up on the Bible. "I'm so hopeless and feel that I'm trapped. The one place I should be able to turn to, the church, is what is killing me on the inside," she says.

Nevertheless, the pastor's wife remains hopeful that their marriage can still be saved. "If anyone has a recommendation for a fair and reasonable counselor in the Houston area who is used to working discreetly with people in my and my husband's position, I would greatly appreciate it. I'm down to my last resort before bailing," she says.


Rainer says he shared the wife's message as a "caution for all of us in vocational ministry." He asks people to pray for the hurting woman, noting that it is always heartbreaking to hear of a failing marriage.

Original Article

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