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Friends are some of our most valued relationships. They make us laugh, cry (happy and sad tears), push our buttons and push us to be better people. The best kinds of friends that we can hope for are the ones who pick us up when we’re poor in spirit, stand by our sides when we’re experiencing troubled times and continually support us in our mission to be more like Christ.
Most of us would like to be known for being a great friend. But the label doesn’t come without hard work and perseverance. Maintaining friendships can be tough. When we spend a considerable amount of time with people we like, we’re bound to get closer and more comfortable with them but we’re also more vulnerable to being hurt by them. For our part, we can take our friends for granted or expect too much from them. Although we love others because God first loved us and not to receive love in return, finding a balance between what we put into our friendships and what we get out of them is key in nurturing lasting and thriving ones.
Being a good friend is about more than making someone feel good. Here are three tips for what to strive for in your friendships.
Quality over quantity
Many of us with Facebook accounts can attest to having more than 100 “friends” but in reality our close companions amount to a much smaller number.
The benefits of having fewer, more effective friendships are highlighted in the Bible. Jesus had 12 close companions, which might be more than some of us manage today but it was still a relatively small number when we consider his appeal. (I mean, who wouldn’t want to be friends with the Son of God?!)
Proverbs 18:24 – A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Compassion
Our closeness to someone doesn’t negate the need for giving and accepting apologies. Just because someone’s our best friend, it doesn’t mean we’ll never fall out, need forgiveness or need to forgive. The lifespan of our friendships are without a doubt dependent on each person’s ability to put the past behind them and practise forgiveness.
Jesus and Peter were close friends but Peter was repeatedly forgiven by Jesus because of his shortcomings. It’s extremely hurtful to have someone you love and trust betray you but Jesus teaches us that we have to find it in our heart to forgive our friends. If he could be so kind to do what he did for Peter, what’s stopping us?
Loyalty
Peter may have stumbled at the loyalty hurdle when he denied knowing Christ but he went on to again demonstrate his loyalty to Jesus by sharing the good news of our Saviour.
We find another great lesson on loyalty in Jonathan and David’s friendship. Jonathan showed extreme loyalty to David and it’s something that we can all endeavour to adopt in our relationships with our friends. As Jonathan’s story reveals to us, loyalty doesn’t mean blindly sticking by people. If that was the case Jonathan could have chosen to support his father’s aims. Loyalty is about listening to what God wants for our friends and supporting them as they work to achieve that.
