Porn addicts don’t usually associate watching porn to cheating on one’s spouse. However, XXX Church — an online ministry dedicated to helping people with porn and sex addictions — believes people are betraying their marriages whenever they look at porn.
“When we commit adultery, what are we engaging in? Lust. When we make a commitment to another person to be involved in a serious relationship or marry, we are promising to not lust after others,” Eddie Capparucci explains on the ministry’s website.
When people get married, they are accepting the honour and duty to not let sexual desires wander beyond the relationship. So whenever people look at porn, they are allowing their lust to wander around, he says.
Capparucci adds that addicts are planting seeds of doubt in their partner’s mind whenever they indulge in porn. “In a large majority of cases, when a woman discovers her partner watching pornography — whether she expresses it or not — she feels a sense of unworthiness,” he shares.
Women feel like they cannot measure up to the fantasy women their husbands lust after, so there is a sense of shame that develops within them. “Our pornography usage creates self-doubt in their ability to mentally and physically satisfy us. This ultimately creates a wedge in our relationship,” he explains.
At the same time, men rob their wives and their relationships of the opportunity to develop emotional and physical intimacy when they watch porn and engage in solo sex. Men might justify their actions by saying pornography use is harmless, and people can do whatever they want with their bodies.
But Capparrucci says there is no denying the negative effects these actions are causing one’s marriage. “Is looking at porn the same thing as cheating? The truth is: pornography is a betrayal that objectifies and dishonours women. So yes, it’s a form of cheating. And our partners deserve better than that from us,” he says.
